At some point in my meteoric career, the company was kind enough to assign a BlackBerry mobile device. Some of you already know that my relationship with technology in general and mobile telephony in particular is not very pleasant, but since the available of a pileup of these come to be a status symbol, we were not going to make ugly.
With these things usually happen as the human brain, which employ 10% of capacity. Personnel Systems Department still uses less intellectual potential, so I got the phone as is, no box or instruction manual. It's like you say, "Here." From now on will be your best friend. I understood you may go. "
So far no problem. But as I am a guy with concerns, wanted to get more from the aparatejo and rummaging through the corners of the company (do not ask me where), I found a booklet that could shed some light on the subject.
was titled "BlackBerry Curve 8520 Smartphone - Product information and security." A name that does not encourage reading, I know. What I never imagined I caught was the amount of horror that lay inside ...
Page 3 of the manual began stomping " The use of batteries that have not been approved by Research In Motion (RIM) may pose a risk of fire or explosion, which could cause serious injury, death or property loss .
Take that. In addition, these gentle warnings also apply to the use of covers and chargers. No matter what element is concerned: everything that comes into contact with the BlackBerry device may burst, spreading death and destruction around them.
Let's continue: "If you normally BlackBerry device has contact with your body, use a cover [...] RIM or maintain a distance of 25 mm. between the device and body while the device is transmitting. [...] The long-term effects exceed RF exposure standards may present a risk of serious harm . "Mmm ... I'd like to know how to use a device that is designed to pegártelo to the ear without I melt the brain. Maybe if we connect the speaker ...
Ah, they do not, " never hold the BlackBerry device to your ear when you turn the speaker on your BlackBerry. Could suffer serious and irreversible hearing damage . If we use a cell the rest of our insignificant lives, no speaker and heard together.
" not rely on the BlackBerry device for emergency communications. The wireless networks that are necessary to make emergency calls or send messages are not available in all areas [...] ." Overall, it is likely that the emergency is that the BlackBerry device has exploded . Best go to a parlor in Pakistan.
" not disassemble the BlackBerry device. The BlackBerry device contains small parts that may cause choking hazard ." It is understood that the average age of a BlackBerry user over 4 years of age, still, I propose to change the text: "Do not try to eat the BlackBerry device."
" Keep your BlackBerry device away from medical devices, including pacemakers and hearing aids because they can malfunction causing serious injury or death to you or others ." We all know that health has restraining orders against BlackBerry devices. The theme of death is becoming a recurring theme that no longer scared.
" not place the BlackBerry device to liquid, as it can short circuit, fire or electric shock . Giblets. I here, at this point, had threatened the mutation and multiplication of the BlackBerry device into a horde of angry gremlins.
Apocalyptic, right? Then only we got to page 4 of the manual.
In the next installment will end up shelling warnings of a device that is more dangerous than the seven plagues of Egypt.
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