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Reclameitor Strikes Bank (Part I - Basterd card)

Finally.

remains opened the first claim for 2011. The thing is that without these emotions and I can not live.

Factual.

Yesterday afternoon, after leaving work went into the subway station and go to the ticket vending machine to get a T10. I enter my credit card in the machine and I get a message on the screen indicating that my "card has been disabled." And he spits. Fortunately spits. If it had been at an ATM, it had swallowed, I have no doubt.

This allows me to see 902 phones displayed on the dark side of the card and call the first set.

When one gets drawn great comfort not to talk to a machine from which you will indicate "if you want information about our products press 1 if you have a complaint press 2." The 3 was "other" or something. He was not yet clear in what situation I was so I chose door number three.

"If you make a query about your card, press 1 ...", it has to be, want to know about my card radishes.

"Sorry, can serve not provide information about your card. Please contact your bank."

cojo. Now I know three things: that the first phone is Servired that will not know shit about my card and I lost the first wild-card call.

Setting the second telephone number. After passing the test of the robotic voice, I remind you that the call will be recorded and passed me with what appears to be a human being.

-Banco de Calafell good afternoon, Julita treating you what I can help?

"Well I went to use my credit card and I have received a message indicating the card is disabled.

-Show me your name and Denei.

-Xavi1973, equisequisequisletrape.

"Very well, Mr. Xavi1973, I need to provide your date of birth.

-The provided that the year Easter.

"Yeah. Now tell me the first four and last four digits of your card number.

[I get the feeling that if I am right this last question I get the jackpot].

-unodostrescuatro and cuatrotresdosuno.

"Well. Mr. Xavi1973 we inform you that your card has actually been blocked.

[Okay, we have a coincidence of information 100%]

- Why has been blocked?

"They reported her loss.

-Mmmm ... the truth is that no loss has been reported.

[The reliability index has fallen 50%]

"Let me see. Ah. I think it has been an error.

"Very well, then unlock.

"Unfortunately we can not unlock. Have to go to his office to resolve the issue.

[The effectiveness ratio has plummeted to 0% and my level of anger begins to show up as rising value].

"Let's see. Who gave the order to block the card?

"We can not know, sir.

"Let's get this straight. Before you can talk to you I have been advised that the conversation would be recorded. To make the query I have had to give my name, my Denei, my date of birth and 8 of digits of the card. What you mean to tell me that does not know to trace the origin of the lock request?

"Sorry sir, I told you that this is a mistake.

"Okay, but an error of you.

"Yes, sorry.

"But you who? Servired or the Bank of Calafell.

-El Banco de Calafell.

"But the Bank of Calafell who? Is my office or central?

"I do not know, is a mistake. Sorry.

[I fear that the operator has entered into a loop]

"Then I leave you screwed. Until tomorrow tomorrow I can go to the office and fix this. For what can my partner, who is co-owner of the account, go in my place and unlock the card?

"Yes, of course.

[Note to self: first of all I must go to the office or going to stun the Queen consort]

"Thank you for your help.

"Thank you for calling.

analysis of the situation. I have a ticket

50 euros in the portfolio but the ticket machine does not accept underground tickets of this caliber and this season there is no blockbuster.

Fortunately I have a journey in bonus meter.

If options were as follows:

1) sneak into the subway.

2) Take a healthy walk 50 minutes to home.

3) Go to the bus and risk my life trying to pay with the crushing 50.

4) Take a taxi and naively expect the bank to pay the cost me later.

5) Call the customer service telephone number of Banc of Calafell and send a limo to pick me up.

6) Calling my father and try to convince him of the need to take me home in his car.

I must admit that these alternatives are arranged more or less viable, which is, from less to more unpleasant.

use my last trip underground, then.

try to channel my anger while I prepare mentally what is going to be my meeting with the obtuse branch.

[ continues ]

Kates Playground Vids 2010

Lethal Weapon (Part II - Hellphone)

Surely some of you, after what leísteis yesterday, not perceive the same way your BlackBerry device.

But if there is still some brave to say that these are little more than nonsense, here are the rest of the text of the Security Manual, a compendium of joy and good cheer as they come.

Let's go to page 5 of the script:

" exposure to flashing lights on the BlackBerry device can trigger epileptic seizures or blackouts and can be dangerous to you or to others. " If we combine skillfully managing the speaker and the brightness of the screen, the BlackBerry device can be an effective device defense against theft and assault.

" If you use your BlackBerry device while driving can put you and others at greater risk of an accident causing serious injury, death or property loss ." Needless to say, if you drive a gasoline tanker truck loaded to capacity, it will explode with much noise and huge plumes of black smoke.

" not use your BlackBerry device to gases as they may present a risk of fire or explosion ." Which recommended to avoid diets rich in vegetables, obviously.

" not pull the BlackBerry device to fire as this can cause an explosion causing serious injury, death or property loss ." To end in a definite way with the BlackBerry device will only throw the Mount Doom.

" use your BlackBerry device on an aircraft may affect the implementation, communication and operation of the aircraft [...] and be illegal. " At this point, what one issue is whether the manufacture and possession of BlackBerry devices is an illegal act in itself.

And if we do not shake your hand, turn to page 6 to finish reading that:

" From an intrinsic point of view, no BlackBerry devices be considered safe, so it can not be used in the presence of explosives, explosive powder or other chemicals of an explosive nature [...] "and ends with the serious injury, death, loss property, blablabla, amputations, pain, etc.

From the foregoing, the phrase that best sums it up is " From an intrinsic point of view, BlackBerry devices can not be considered safe ."

Period. The rest is recreated unnecessarily in pain and suffering.

Where To Buy A White Canoe?

Lethal Weapon (Part I - Highway to Cell )

At some point in my meteoric career, the company was kind enough to assign a BlackBerry mobile device. Some of you already know that my relationship with technology in general and mobile telephony in particular is not very pleasant, but since the available of a pileup of these come to be a status symbol, we were not going to make ugly.

With these things usually happen as the human brain, which employ 10% of capacity. Personnel Systems Department still uses less intellectual potential, so I got the phone as is, no box or instruction manual. It's like you say, "Here." From now on will be your best friend. I understood you may go. "

So far no problem. But as I am a guy with concerns, wanted to get more from the aparatejo and rummaging through the corners of the company (do not ask me where), I found a booklet that could shed some light on the subject.

was titled "BlackBerry Curve 8520 Smartphone - Product information and security." A name that does not encourage reading, I know. What I never imagined I caught was the amount of horror that lay inside ...

Page 3 of the manual began stomping " The use of batteries that have not been approved by Research In Motion (RIM) may pose a risk of fire or explosion, which could cause serious injury, death or property loss .

Take that. In addition, these gentle warnings also apply to the use of covers and chargers. No matter what element is concerned: everything that comes into contact with the BlackBerry device may burst, spreading death and destruction around them.

Let's continue: "If you normally BlackBerry device has contact with your body, use a cover [...] RIM or maintain a distance of 25 mm. between the device and body while the device is transmitting. [...] The long-term effects exceed RF exposure standards may present a risk of serious harm . "Mmm ... I'd like to know how to use a device that is designed to pegártelo to the ear without I melt the brain. Maybe if we connect the speaker ...

Ah, they do not, " never hold the BlackBerry device to your ear when you turn the speaker on your BlackBerry. Could suffer serious and irreversible hearing damage . If we use a cell the rest of our insignificant lives, no speaker and heard together.

" not rely on the BlackBerry device for emergency communications. The wireless networks that are necessary to make emergency calls or send messages are not available in all areas [...] ." Overall, it is likely that the emergency is that the BlackBerry device has exploded . Best go to a parlor in Pakistan.

" not disassemble the BlackBerry device. The BlackBerry device contains small parts that may cause choking hazard ." It is understood that the average age of a BlackBerry user over 4 years of age, still, I propose to change the text: "Do not try to eat the BlackBerry device."

" Keep your BlackBerry device away from medical devices, including pacemakers and hearing aids because they can malfunction causing serious injury or death to you or others ." We all know that health has restraining orders against BlackBerry devices. The theme of death is becoming a recurring theme that no longer scared.

" not place the BlackBerry device to liquid, as it can short circuit, fire or electric shock . Giblets. I here, at this point, had threatened the mutation and multiplication of the BlackBerry device into a horde of angry gremlins.

Apocalyptic, right? Then only we got to page 4 of the manual.

In the next installment will end up shelling warnings of a device that is more dangerous than the seven plagues of Egypt.